I hate who I am
by Nastja.Neverending
Summary: It's Sasuke thinking about himself and his life...


**I hate who I am**

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters.

It's Sasuke thinking about himself and his life he is living.

* * *

There he sat, alone in the corner. In the little dark corner. All he felt was pain. He didn't even realized how long he was sitting there. Staring at the cold and dirty floor, he started to doubt on himself, as he always did when he was alone.

"I hate it.." he started to whisper. No one was there. He was all alone. Like he was it ever. And like it always will be. Alone. A feeling of emptyness.

"I really can't take it anymore. I'm feeling sick. I hate it. All this pain is now coming back to me. That can't be true.

I never looked back. No.. I never looked back.. Because I never wanted to cry… To be honest.. But now.. I thinks it's all I've got. I'm all alone now. I thought I could be strong enough. I thought if I just trained hard enough I would have had a chance. But it's worthless. I will never have a chance." he sighed very nervously.

"I'm so tired of the whole situation. I'm so broken up into so many little pieces.. It's really hard now.. It's really hard to hide that now.. " he sighed.. And felt another wet drop falling onto his knees..

"What's this?" with an angry look he observed the drop on his knees very intensly. It was years ago that he felt something like this. A wet drop. Comming directly out of his eyes. Slowly he began shaking his head..

"I was never meant to be happy.. I guess. I'm too soft.. He said.. I have to many emotions.. Yeah I know.. I have emotions. And why? I'm his little brother for God's sake.. I truly want to kill him.. But he's the only thing I have left.. If he was dead.. I would be all alone.. And now.. I just know.. That there is someone else of my family.. Somewhere.. Out there.." another sigh helped him ending up in silence. For a few minutes was just sitting there starring at the drop on his knees. He knew that he could never ever go back.. Back to something he once had.. And he could never ever go to that what he needed - a brother.

Pain. That was what he just felt now. All the pain that was spreading out in his whole heart. He could felt it like he got stabbed a thousand times.

"I really don't know what to do now.. It's funny isn't it? The great Sasuke Uchiha doesn't know what to do now.. It's just that I'm fed up with everything and everyone.. All the girls gathering around me.. All the people who look at me and point at me and say : He's the one with that tragic family history.. FOR GODS SAKE I KNOW THAT IT IS A SAD HISTORY!!" actually he began to scream.. And another drop was falling on his knees. A lot of a drop.. A lot of drops were falling now..

"I hate it.. I hate it that everybody reminds me of that.. I tried not to look back.. I tried not to let the pain in.. I tried to be tough.. I tried to be hard.. I tried to be me.. But I'm so captivated in my own shadow. The shadow of my own darkness.. The darkness that was suddenly there.. I can't live in that shadow anymore. I want a break out.. I need a way out.. The shadow is closing in on me.. The shadow is covering the light.. I want to be in the light.. But I get no chance to get there.. I just want to break out.. I want to live as anyone else lives. I want a family.. I want a brother.. I want my friends.. I want to be like any other. I don't want to carry this damn fate.." he was losing his tone at the last words and was just letting out the whole pain and emotions he held back the whole years.

"I can't take it anymore.. I'm so tired.. I really hate it…" he whispered after a few minutes letting the tears fall on his knees.

"I hate who I am.." he finally said.. Just starring at the cold dirty floor..

As he wanted to speak again.. He suddenly heard a noise.. But he didn't care about that anymore.. He didn't care about anything anymore..

But the noise was coming near him.. The noise was coming near the door he locked to be alone..

"Sasuke?" the voice of his big brother came to his ears…


End file.
